Weight Watchers Week 4

Today is weigh in day and i've lost a total of 5.2 pounds. YAY for me!!!!  This weeks lessons....i discovered 1 pop tart is 5 points, if you don't have good snacks around you then you will go for the bad, and just because you may eat something that isn't healthy doesn't mean you can't get back on the wagon....its about balance.   i've found theweight watchers message boards to be very helpful. they are full of information and motivation. 

Goal for week 4  

Read the message boards 15 minutes a day
Join at least 2 challenges on the weight watchers website

Weight Watchers Week 2

Last Monday I joined weight watchers which they have a new program called Points Plus. I have 29 points per day, 47 extra points to spread throughout the week or have a splurge day and Monday's are my weigh in day.  The first week wasn't as bad as I thought, its different from the regular points system (yes i've done this before). When they say journaling helps you lose weight I truly believe it. It helps you look at what you've eaten...to examine....and make changes.  Being an emotional and overeater makes it a little tougher but I really believe i'm on the right track.  The good news is I lost 2.2 pounds this week and with that i MUST understand that doesn't give me a pass to eat ridiculous which for some reason when i lose a little i think its okay to eat bad. until next week....

Saying "NO"

Never thought about saying NO to myself. I read this in another blog and I had an AHA moment. Now if I can just be mean to myself and say NO. LOL I've been saying yes for so long not only to myself but to others and i've always had a hard time saying NO even when I so desperately wanted to say it. I've gotten a little better at saying NO but you know what if I can begin saying NO to myself then maybe i can be free to say NO to others more often.

Personal Trainer rant

Its more than the physical, its also the mental. If it was just the physical than I'm sure that most of us would be at our goal weight and not struggling for years and years. A personal trainer I follow on FB boasts of his clients losing 25 pounds in 10 days, 10 pounds in 3 days...blah blah blah. What i want to know is how long are they keeping it off?  I would love to lose weight in a short period of time but I know that unless you are on the biggest loser and you are working out 6 hours a day that isn't realistic.

back to your regular scheduled program :)

Scared to Eat

I know it has been two weeks since my last blog.  Well the week of my first blog i was doing the lemonade diet..FAILED. My church is fasting for 21 days so I choose the daniel fast...FAILED. I know I won't succeed until I get my mind right. 

I feel like i need any and every resource available to me to succeed. I'm an emotional eater, I'm an over eater, and I love food.  After 20 years of battling with my weight I THINK i'm determined to succeed. I THOUGHT i was determined the last 10 times I attempted to lose weight and I always end up at square one. I spoke to a friend about this and she didn't quite understand my issues she thinks all i have to do is not think about food or not eat this or that. NO, it isn't that easy or I would be at my goal weight now.

Anyway last Saturday I went to a OA meeting (overeaters anonymous). That will be one of my resources to conquer my issues. It was a good meeting and I found it very helpful. I will definitely continue to go as I figure this all out.

Now to my blog title "scared to eat". I feel like i've gotten my eating under control while i was doing the daniel fast and only being able to eat certain foods. Even though i failed by eating foods that I wasn't supposed to eat I always got back on track until my next fail.  However, as I decided to end my fast because I kept "failing", I'm scared to incorporate the foods back because I don't want to get out of control again.  I know I have to plan because that will help me to succeed. However, knowing and doing is 2 different things and hopeful I will start doing.  I'm going to start posting the food i'm eating which will help with

Until my next post....

I Binged

It has a name and its called binging. I didn't want to post about the master cleanse I was doing but if I'm going to journal my journey than i must be honest. I failed on day one of a 10 day cleanse and what I've realized from reading other blogs is that 1) I binge and 2) I self sabotage and 3) I'm not alone. This morning the tears formed in my eyes as I got an email from a boot camp I did last year that yielded me little results. Why? because of my eating. So this email has 5 questions which I can answer Yes to 4 of them. One of them being "have you found that you eat especially when you are emotional?".  I know I'm an emotional eater but the whole binging and self sabotaging thing I wasn't aware.

As I've been reflecting I felt like I've needed to do all things possible to help me become "free" from food. If i can join all the challenges I come across and possibly join eaters anonymous. Maybe the 12 step approach is what I need to finally get my eating under control.

As I type this my nephew is making a hamburger and it smells so good. Goodness what is wrong with me?

Post 1

I want to win. I don't want to lose and i've been losing this battle for 20 years. What is it going to take? What has to happen? Have I not hit my rock bottom? The first step is to recognize the problem. now what?